An old game that’s completely bonkers, as ugly as sin, and full of retina-searing flicker… How could I resist?
The story: basically, you’re helping a depressed professor succeed in his therapy. I’m not joking.
The game unfolds in three phases. It’s absolutely impossible to make sense of anything without reading the manual. Lucky for you, I’ve done that, you little rascals.
I’ll try to explain the inexplicable, but brace yourselves—it’s going to take a while…
Phase One: The Mind
This is the 3D world where you’re trapped, endlessly wandering like the neurotic mess you are, accompanied by your nightmares. Cheery, isn’t it? Let this be a lesson, kids—don’t become teachers.
To escape, you need to regain your psychological balance by assembling pieces of a puzzle: “fragments of mental health”. These are hidden somewhere in the recesses of your troubled mind. To get there, you’ll need to create a “path of coherent thought.”
So, here’s the recipe for a thought path:
a starting point (represented by a “thought crystal” that’s hard to miss—you begin the game right next to it)
tiles that react when you step on them (they turn black and play a little sound)
a pyramid (so you can transform—wow, exciting!)
an endpoint (let’s call it “the tube”!)
eggs
sugar
a blender
a party blower
a plastic funnel
Are you seriously reading all this? Does my game interest you?
Alright then, let’s go! You’ll notice you have a map (click “Fill In Entire Map” straight away), which shows your objective (the tube) and different coloured zones—this is where things get tricky…
When you walk on tiles, they normally react. That’s how you trace a path. But if you cross into another zone, the tiles will behave differently, and to mark them, you’ll need the appropriate form.
Our professor is rather unhinged and tends to mix up his repressed personalities. Look for a nearby pyramid on the map, stand beneath it, and you can choose one of four forms: human, magician, spriggan, or nymph. With practice, you’ll learn to recognise the tiles you’re stepping on and the form required. For instance, the nymph moves across water (blue tiles).
Once you’ve traced the path to the tube, you’ll find yourself in a nicely crafted tunnel, speeding through doors. Pick one to move on to the next phase.
Phase Two: The Brain
You’re now in a 2D maze whose walls consist of sizzling neurons, teeming with viruses that will attack you soon enough. Use your fractal ray to take them out. Your task is to find your fragments. It’s essentially a game of “hot or cold” with the computer. The temperature gauge on the right of the screen indicates whether you’re nearing your target, and an intermittent sound will play, growing faster as you “heat up”. Once you’ve secured your objective, exit via the tube, which will take you to the final stage…
Phase Three: The Subconscious
This is where you begin putting your ideas back together—literally. You have two ways to assemble the puzzle. Either you drag the pieces with the mouse to place them in the field on the right of the screen (but the first time, with just seven pieces, you’ll probably fail to arrange them properly), or you call upon Uncle Sigmund’s help (by clicking the pipe-like objects) to position them for you. Psychoanalysis has a cost, however, and your final score will take a hit.
Subliminal message: patients can’t heal themselves…
[I’m so good to you: “Hi Doctor, it’s me again! And who’s gonna win 230 francs? Do you want me to pay you right away?”. – Ed.]
Once the seven fragments are placed, go fetch more until the image is fully restored (there are 42 fragments in total, meaning six trips). So hop to it! I warn you—the difficulty ramps up each time!
This game exudes a kind of mystical beauty in its weirdness. It’s the sort of game you proudly show off to your friends, because you’re the only one who understands what you’re doing. It makes you feel clever!
I can’t promise you’ll ever see those friends again, though.
I like to think I can find a modern successor to any Amiga game. Mind Walker’s heir is Togges (2022).
